a bleeding heart, part 3

Lilly noticed something odd. Had Brayden just looked her up and down? Maybe he had just nodded his head but she could have sworn his eyes moved so he could look her up and down. He was blind though, and even if he could see why would he look her up and down? It was something a male did - well even a female did too - when he was attracted to someone. He couldn't be attracted to her. He was a god whilst she was just... well, her. Why would he even consider settling for her anyway? He could have supermodels hanging off both his arms. Holding him close she buried her face into his chest again not even thinking about getting his t-shirt wet from her tears. Maybe she had just seen things when she had thought he looked her up and down. Yeah, she was probably feeling so vunerable, so lonely, and so unwanted that she was imagining her crush was looking at her in ways she could only dream of - and had dreamt of.

Brayden did tell her he loved her all the time. Lilly had always thought he meant it as a friend, and had always took it that way. After all why would an adonis like Brayden love her as more then a friend? It was stupid, and she shouldn't even be thinking about it right now anyway. She had just had her heart torn out of her chest, sliced by a dagger in Brett's hand, and then put through the shredder all infront of her very own eyes. That was how it felt, and she couldn't just try to turn her own pain into feelings for someone else. That wouldn't be healthy, Brayden didn't want her like that, and even if he did it wouldn't be fair to him if she did anyway. She had to mourn the loss of the love of her life. Her first love. The only man that had ever wanted anything to do with her. Brett had been perfect. Except... except when it came to leaving her. He had promised forever. How could he promise forever and not keep it?

She could still remember her first kiss with Brett. It had been magical, and her first kiss in her entire life. The kiss had been absolutely everything she could have ever dreamed of. It was like the perfect romantic movie kiss. Passionate, rough, wild, magical, gentle, loving, and a kiss that said it was the end of the world as she knew it. In that one kiss Brett had told her everything he felt for her, he had made her feel what she thought was true love, and promised their hearts would be forever entwined. Now here she was, Brett broken all his promises and he didn't even look sorry at all for what he had done, sobbing into Brayden's chest. He hadn't even thought about Lilly, what it would do to her, or even considered her in any way when he went on that date with that harpy, whoever she was. Probably a nice girl too like both Lilly and Sherona. He'd probably cheat on this harpy too like he had done with his ex-wife Sherona and Lilly. Hell, technically he had cheated on his first ex-wife Heather with Sherona. Right now, if Lilly had said yes to Brett's proposal, she would be his third wife. He was a serial womanizer, a serial wedding man, and a serial cheater. He'd never change. He'd never settle for just one woman. Ever. His son Christian was just the same too.

"I love you too Brayden"

Lilly replied softly, pressing her face into the crook of his neck as she ran her fingertips down the back of his neck. If she could just stay pressed against him for a while and take in his scent that would be good. It made her feel at home. Then again for a while now she felt with Brayden she was home. Then again she'd felt the same with Brett and look where it had gotten her. She had a broken heart, and couldn't believe that whilst she and Brett were together he had shacked up with someone else. How could his feelings for her just disappear like that? She didn't understand. What was so god damn wrong with her? Lifting her head, teary eyed, she looked up at Brayden finding herself unable to not ask him that exact question.

"Whats so wrong with me? Whats so wrong with me that men don't want me?"