a bleeding heart, last part

A yawn escaped Lilly's plush lips as she looked around the town. It seemed all the physical excertion was starting to get to her. A part of her wanted Brayden to take charge again like he had done when he made love to her, but she did know it probably wasn't in his nature. Still it would be nice one day for him to take charge, even if it was just an impromptu dinner like this or an amazingly romantic date which he surprised her with. That would be nice. Lilly did love romance, and a man that could take charge. She did imagine her father was a take charge kind of man even if it had been only in the army. She sighed briefly. She hated him so much for leaving her mother like the spineless coward he was. It was probably a reason Lilly wanted a strong dominant man that did take charge with ease. It would reassure her more that he wasn't going to just leave her the next day for whatever reason.

Spotting a chinese restaurant Lilly walked inside and got them a table. She ordered herself a portion of egg fried rice, a portion of chicken fried rice, a portion of sweet and sour chicken balls, and a portion of prawn crackers along with a coke which had free refills. Yep, she was going to have a great dinner. Maybe even get a portion of profiteroles ( seven in total ) with two scoops of ice cream and a tiny jug of cream. That sounded like an amazing desert to Lilly. Leaning back in her seat she grabbed her napkin and put it gently over her lap politely before glancing around the place. The place sure was done up professionally and authentically. Lilly waited whilst Brayden ordered his food before looking at him as the waitress walked off. He looked so sexy sat there. He could definately be a supermodel himself. She really was one lucky girl wasn't she?

"I don't know. I like a lot of food."

Lilly responded, shrugging, before eating the dishes infront of her. She didn't take it slowly. What was the point? It wouldn't fill her up. They would need to purchase at least two lots of all their orders to get somewhere near being full up. Werewolves sure had voracious appetities. Lilly was used to it by now. She stocked up on everything. Everytime she did a week's shopping it looked more like a month's shopping. Lilly never let it bother her. Why should she? This was how she was now and she had accepted that. She just wished she knew more about being a werewolf. The only thing she could do was phase when she wanted. That was all she had learnt so far and well, she had known after her first uncontrollable phasing that she would need to learn how to control it. She couldn't risk going out and killing someone - maybe even someone she knew - because she couldn't control her phasing.

Lilly yawned briefly between their first orders and second orders before devouring that food too. By then she felt something close to being stuffed. Which was good. She could easily sleep now. Infact, Lilly was already looking around for a good place to curl up. There wasn't anywhere really comfortable in this place to curl up. They would have to go back to Brayden's place to find somewhere comfortable. Shame. Her attention was then distracted by the smell of whipped cream and chocolate. Desert. Mmm. Smelt good to her. She quickly opened the desert menu and looked through it before finding what she had smelled. Profiteroles with whipped cream and vanilla ice cream. Perfect. It was probably close to being her perfect desert. Smiling she leaned back in her chair and stretched a little before letting her gaze fall back on her boyfriend, Brayden.

"Food is good."

a bleeding heart, part 16

A soft sigh left Lilly's plush lips as Brayden agreed to be her boyfriend. She was so happy! Nothing else on this world had ever made her happy. Except... the brief moment she was Brett. Even Lilly couldn't deny he had made her feel happy and like a real woman. She felt like a girl again right now, but she knew as the love grew between her and her imprint Brayden, she would begin to feel like a woman again. It was harder now probably since her mother was here along with her brother. Family always made anyone feel like a kid, and that was probably the reason why since when she had been with Brett her family hadn't been here. Smiling happily up at Brayden she made patterns on his bare chest with her fingertips. She was so glad he could see. Now she didn't need to wish he could see her. He did see her. More then anyone else had ever seen her in her entire life. Brayden truly was special.
"Lets go out and have dinner. I'm starving after that workout."

Lilly spoke with a smile. She was starving, and could devour a whole deer right now due to her werewolf appetite. Getting up she slowly pulled her lingerie back on and then her jeans and halter top. Dressed she turned round to look at Brayden with a smile. God he looked so sexy naked. Hell, he looked sexy naked, clothed, and in any other condition if there was any others. She truly was one lucky girl. As soon as he was ready she grinned happily towards him and took his hand, squeezing it as she strolled out of his house happily. She was hungry for anything right then. Pizza, chinese, curry, anything. Except seafood. She couldn't stand seafood. Anything else though she was more then happy to eat. It didn't take too long to get into town, and before long they were surrounded by places where they could eat from restaurants to fast food places.

a bleeding heart, part 15

Her hands travelled south and unzipped his jeans. Lilly couldn't stop herself any longer. Besides, he had forced her on top of him - not a position she really liked. She had to get some benefits out of it. She wanted him to make love to her like she had always imagined. Sure, those imaginations usually took place on a beach, in the park, on the altar of a church, or on the bartop of a crowded nightclub but it would still be hot on his couch because Brayden would be there. His whole body screamed sex and Lilly just couldn't ignore it. Kissing down his muscular chest she moaned against the skin as she pulled his jeans and boxers down his thighs. Before long she had taken them off, tossed them onto the floor and was now proceeding to take off her own clothes. First the halter top, then her jeans, and then her lingerie too.

He couldn't resist her now. Right? Leaning forward she kissed him passionately, her chest against his as she gently teased him by rolling her hips causing a grinding motion. Before long though the teasing turned into more and about an hour or so later Lilly was laid beneath Brayden entirely satisfied, sweaty, and exhausted. For a good boy he certainly had known exactly how to satisfy a woman. The way he had taken charge and dominated... It had turned her on immensely. He had been rather, well it seemed against the whole idea of making love but after some encouragement he had just turned into this sex god. It had been unbelieveable, and Lilly hadn't been able to resist calling out Brayden's name as she reached her pleasure peak. She loved him. She really did absolutely one hundred per cent love Brayden. No one could tear them apart now. Lilly had finally imprinted locking her heart to Brayden's forever.

"I love you Brayden"

Lilly spoke softly as she laid there beside him with her head on his chest. She did love him too. So much. She couldn't quite believe he had just made love to her. It had been so incredible. She never wanted another man ever again. Just Brayden. He was her life, her heart, and her soul now. She could feel the imprint and for the first time in her life it felt unbreakable. Brayden would never cheat on her or leave her. She knew that, and it was knowing that which gave Lilly the confidence to love again. If she didn't know that then she would have walked away by now. Sighing softly, and happily, she laid content in his arms. She didn't even feel self concious because she was naked. Nope. All she felt was happiness and genuine love. All there was in this world was her and Brayden - oh and the couch too of course. Turning her head she began kissing his chest deeply and lovingly unable to keep her hands off him.

"Your a sex god Brayden... honestly, I've never felt so pleasures, so satisfied, and so loved in my entire life. ... Brayden? ... Will you be my boyfriend?"

Normally Lilly would never ask someone to be her boyfriend. She hadn't even found the guts to ask Brett to be her boyfriend. Deep down she supposed she had always known he would cheat on her. Lilly had just never wanted to believe it. She didn't want to believe that she would be used and hurt like her mother had when she was a teenager. Lilly had stupidly thought that she would be with Brett together forever, and he'd never touch another woman after her. Well, now she was over it, and now she had imprinted on someone else - Brayden. He may be the second guy she imprinted on but that didn't matter. He would be her last. She loved him with all her heart and right now she would do absolutely anything for him. He truly was very special and dear to her. Smiling softly she curled up on top of his body, nuzzling his chest affectionately as she listened to the peaceful silence.

a bleeding heart, part 14

"What? ... Can't take what?"

Lilly was worried then. Did he mean her? Did he mean he didn't want her?! No. He couldn't. He had already confessed he wanted her. That he loved her. He wouldn't mean that. Inhaling and exhaling deeply she watched him as she slid out from underneath her. Where was he going? Then Brayden got on top of her. That look in his eyes... It sent shivers down her spine and made her heart do a tango. Bedroom eyes. At least that was her first thought. Did he want to make love to her now? Oh god. She felt so excited and yet nervous at the same time. When she felt his pelvis against hers she gasped a little unable to control herself. Sure, she had imagined this in so many ways going from romantic to unadulterated kinky that would make a porn star blush. However she had never imagined it would actually ever happen. It had always been just a dream. Yet here he was. Here they were.

Lilly kissed him back softly at first. Her hand went up to his cheek and cupped it as she let her thumb stroke his cheek. She then deepened the kiss into something more intense, passionate, x-rated, and full of lust as well as love. Her tongue caressed his and then massaged his tongue as her hand then went through his hair. She moaned deeply, especially when his hands began roaming her body, and at that she raked her fingernails down his back. Just one kiss and he already had her turned on. Brayden really was something special. He really was a fast learner too. She moaned again as he flipped them over causing her to straddle his crotch as her hands then went to his muscular chest. Lilly began massaging his pecks as she continued to deepen the kiss wanting to pleasure him so bad. She wanted to hear him moan her name like she had always imagined.

a bleeding heart, part 13

Brayden was amazing. She couldn't wait to go on their first date or to introduce him to her mother and brother. They would love him. At least she hoped they would, but why wouldn't they? Brayden was more her age, as far as Lilly knew, and he was a good boy. She was positive her mother would see that. Of course like her mother Lilly had a certain attraction to bad boys, but after everything with Brett and his son Christian, Lilly had decided bad boys was not what she needed. She needed a good boy. It was just a bonus that Brayden looked like a bad boy. A leather jacket and black jeans, oh and shirtless, and Brayden could pass for a biker or a rebel. Lilly made a mental note to get Brayden to dress up like that. It would be so... erotic. Speaking of erotic... Lilly lit up as she spotted a sausage left in the bag. Grasping it she quickly devoured it sighing in relief as the hunger finally began to subside.

"Yeah... maybe I think too much."

She offered, biting her bottom lip as she glanced over at Brayden. Both Christian and Brett used to have a go at her for biting her lip. They said it was because they had vampire in their blood but Lilly often thought it was to dominate her. Once all the food was gone Lilly then noticed Brayden was watching television. Lilly was so used to both Macleods being so sexual that she found it rather odd that Brayden wasn't trying to maul her. She also found it rather endearing even if a part of her did worry he didn't see her appealing sexually. Smiling softly she climbed on top of Brayden, laying on top of him with her bottom against his crotch and her back against his chest. Her head laid beside his with a smile upon her plush lips as her hands found his wrists. Lilly then wrapped his arms around her waist, smiling happily as she laid there in Brayden's arms. She had to admit, right then she felt so very happy. Plus, he had excellent choice in movies.

a bleeding heart, part 12

He was leaning in. What was he doing? Lilly's heart started racing like a thoroughbred's after the Gold Cup. Was he going to kiss her? He didn't like her... why would he? What if... what if he did like her? Love her even? What if what happened last night had been real? Her head was spinning and her heart was racing. She'd probably end up fainting any second. This couldn't be real... Brayden was so hot, so fine, so sexy, that no words described him. Why on earth would he lean in to kiss her? Why?! Thats what Lilly really wanted to know right then. Suddenly Brayden froze causing Lilly to be absolutely breathless. Why was he stopping? Was there something in her teeth? Did he realise that she was Lilly and not the girl he was fantasising about? Was he second thinking kissing her? This was driving her crazy. How could one guy leaning in to her cause her to think so much. She didn't get it.

Then his lips met hers and she felt her whole body sing. Lilly didn't hesitate one single second in kissing him back. Infact her right hand came up to cup his cheek and she got onto her knees, pressing her curved figure against his as she moaned deeply into the kiss. She had dreamed of this moment for so long. Wanted it for so long. Now it was here and it was far better then she ever imagined. A part of her just wanted them to shed their clothes and make love. However Lilly knew that probably shouldn't happen. It would be far too soon, and she wanted this relationship to actually work unlike the other two. She wanted this one to be forever, and for that to happen she knew she should take it slow and do it properly. Brayden should court her. They should date a long while first. It would be better that way. However telling herself she should stop touching Brayden was a lot easier then actually doing it. After a minute or two she finally managed to pull herself away from him, breathless of course.

"I didn't know... I thought... I thought you didn't want me."

Lilly spoke, feeling completely stupid now. He had just gone for breakfast. He hadn't left her. He did want her. A blush rose upon her porcelien cheeks as she run a hand through her blonde hair. Taking her plate of french toast, bacon, and scrambled eggs she then picked up the plastic cutlery. Embarassed she began eating her breakfast. She was starving, and her hangover was getting worse by the second. Within minutes she had devoured her entire breakfast and was now searching in the bag to see if there was anything left inside it. There were a few tiny bits left which Lilly promptly ate. However she was still starving. Before becoming a werewolf she had a normal apetite. Now she was a werewolf she kept hungering for more and more meat. It wouldn't surprise her if she had ended up eating her body weight in meat each day. Like a wolf though she kept her body trim and lean so it never affected her physically.

"Do you have anything else to eat?"

a bleeding heart, part 11

"Oh, well, I'll probably just have some french toast. I'm not that hungry."

A part of her knew she should probably eat a decent meal since she had a hangover but right now Lilly couldn't care less. She shouldn't have kissed him, or gone to him on the couch. Maybe she should have waited until he kissed her but she had been and still was terrified he never would kiss her. That he never wanted her the way she wanted him. Perhaps it would just be best if she left and found somewhere to call home for a bit? There was that saying that absense makes the heart grow fonder. There had to be some truth in it if the saying had lasted through so many centuries. Running a hand through her blonde hair she slowly stood up. Brayden probably didn't want to hear her worries, or what was troubling her. On one hand she knew drowning herself in alcohol wouldn't help but on the other hand it did numb the pain and right now that sounded like the best thing in the world.

"Actually, I think I'm just going to head out and leave you in peace."

Lilly spoke quietly as she stood up. If she remembered right Lilly had actually left behind some clothes here a couple months ago when they had a friendly sleepover. She had worked late, and Brayden had been nice enough to pick her up from the cafe. That had led to her falling asleep in his car so he had ended up taking her back to his place. She left the living room, went back to Brayden's room, and sure enough found her bag on the top of a chest where she had left her clothes. Stripping off she took a quick shower first before putting on the fresh underwear, faded blue skin tight jeans, and a white halter top. Drying her hair she ran a brush through it quickly before putting it up in a high ponytail. Grabbing the pair of white flip flops from the bag she then put her dirty clothes into the bag before heading downstairs again, entering the living room.

When Brayden mentioned she had been crying she bit her bottom lip. What was she supposed to say? The truth? He probably didn't want to hear it. Noticing him looking her in the eye she sighed softly as she walked over to the couch before sitting down where she had been sitting. Maybe she should just be honest. He'd know if she was lieing anyway. A part of her thought that maybe if she just kissed him again that she wouldn't have to say anything but what if he didn't kiss her back again? She couldn't feel that again. It was bad enough now. Inhaling a deep breath she lifted her head a bit before turning to look at Brayden. This was going to hurt wasn't it?

"Yes, I was crying. I thought... I thought last night you said you wanted me but I must have been wrong because as soon as I laid on you, you slid out from under me and left the house."

a bleeding heart, part 10

Lilly felt her heart ache and whimper as Brayden moved out from under her. He must have felt the kiss and have been disgusted by it. She must have imagined that he had said he liked her last night. Burying her face into the couch she didn't move but pretended to be asleep until she heard his door shut. As soon as he was gone she burst into tears, unable to help herself. She knew she shouldn't have touched him. He probably wasn't going to return now, and if by some miracle he did he'd probably keep his distance too. Lilly began wanting alcohol again but with the hangover she had already Lilly knew better then that. What was she supposed to do though when she felt this completely lousy? She could have sworn he had kissed her back but since he so quickly up and left after her lips "accidentally" but on purpose touched his the only conclusion she could come too was that he obviously didn't feel the same.

Hearing someone touch the door knob she quickly dried her face with a cushion before pretending she was asleep again. The last thing she wanted was to make Brayden feel bad because she had imagined things had been said last night. Was he even still blind, or could he see? She couldn't remember if that was real or not. She supposed it didn't matter either way really. She shouldn't have left his bedroom, she shouldn't have laid on top of him, and she shouldn't have kissed him. She should have known better. Lilly had been so sure she had known what did happen last night that kissing him would have been nothing but good for them. She didn't know how she could have got it so wrong. Hearing his voice he sounded so cheery. So happy. She pretended to wake up slowly opening her eyes to look at him. Noticing the bags she realised he must have gotten breakfast.

"What do we got for breakfast?"

Lilly asked softly as she turned over and moved herself so she was sat on the couch with her knees against her chest. A part of her wanted to put whipped cream on her naked body and have Brayden lick it all off but if he was so against one very tiny kiss - which she thought he had been asleep through - then he definately wouldn't want to lick cream off her body. Maybe she was just destined to be alone. Maybe she was just supposed to be in this much pain forever. Maybe this was her consequence for having an affair with a married man. She had done things she would never do. The affair with a married man just being one of two very bad things she had done. The other was accidentally kill his wife by backing into her without knowing it which caused Sherona to fall into the barbeque and get burnt alive. Well, she was a vampire so perhaps not alive but it was still her fault.

a bleeding heart, part 9

Lilly didn't have any time to keep the bottle in her hands or to save it from its destruction. She was far too out of it to be able to have quick reflexes which werewolves were naturally known for. She also didn't have any time or ability to get out of Brayden's grip as he picked her up. Then again sober or not Lilly wouldn't have wanted to get out of Brayden's strong muscular arms. Especially with him carrying her. It was like being in heaven. He carried her all the way to his house too. It was so romantic too. At least, it felt it to Lilly. She smiled the entire way back to his house. She was enjoying it so much infact that she really did not want to let go of him as he put her on the couch. Somehow though he got out of her grip and left her in the dark on his couch. The gorgeous blonde couldn't help but whimper a little as she hoped Brayden was coming back. He had promised her that he wouldn't leave her so he had too... Right?
When Brayden did come back a smile washed over her lips and lit up her tear soaked yet pretty face. As soon as he was sat on the couch she moved over and straddled his lap. Her knees bent either side of his thighs and hips as her bottom seductively and gently rubbed against his crotch. Of course Lilly didn't really know what she was doing except that she wanted to be as close to Brayden as possible. Whether that was just physical or not no one could really be sure. He looked so drop dead sexy even in the dark. He looked like a bad boy from the top of his head to the tip of his foot yet he had a good heart. He was pretty much the perfect guy in her mind. Why he even wanted and loved her she had no idea. As she had said a thousand times this evening under the influence of alcohol he could quite easily have thousands of supermodels swooning all over him.

Lilly must have passed out some time after that because when she woke up she was in Brayden's bed, alone, and in one of his tracksuit bottoms and t-shirt. Her head was pounding like mad. It was so bad all she wanted to do was sleep but then she saw something on his nightstand. There were migrane tablets and a glass of water on it. Brayden must have put them there before he fell asleep. He must have got her changed too. Either that or helped her do it. Rubbing her forehead she popped the tablets into her mouth and downed the water. Inhaling deeply Lilly slowly rose to her feet before wandering downstairs. There he was. Brayden was laid on the couch. Lilly couldn't remember everything that happened last night. Just a few tiny bits of Brayden being there, carrying her, and telling her he could see. Why was it as soon as he could see she had a breakdown and looked horrific? It was just so typical.

Silently Lilly walked forwards. She wasn't sure what she was doing but Lilly knew she had to be closer to him. She slid beneath the blanket he had on himself, laying on her stomach on top of him and smiled softly. Her chest against his she ever so lightly brushed some fingertips against his cheeks. If Lilly was honest she wasn't surprised about Brett's disgusting unfaithful ways. It was that she had let it happen to her that had upset her the most. All the signs were there and yet she let a little charm ignore her own god damn instinct. She was over Brett. She had been over him whilst she had been with him. During the end of their relationship Lilly had been distant thinking of possibly leaving. Brett had honestly done her a favour by being unfaithful. Now she could be with Brayden. A man that would honour and treasure her. Leaning forwards a bit she pressed her lips against his unable to resist. Pulling away before he woke up she sighed softly as she closed her eyes. It was morning the next day but even so Lilly never wanted to leave. She pretended to be sleeping because at least that way he wouldn't move away from her.

a bleeding heart, part 8

When Brayden leaned in she thought he was going to kiss her but then his lips passed her own. His lips touched her cheek in a gentle kiss. Lilly sighed as she lowered her head to glance down at her lap. Not a proper kiss. She understood where he came from and everything. She felt the same but... well, she really wanted a kiss with Brayden. She felt so worthless. So unwanted. So disgusting that no man would ever want her. Sure, Brayden had said he wanted her but what if that changed? It had changed with her father and Brett. She wasn't worthy of one kiss from any man let alone a relationship. She could bet if she became a prostitute she couldn't even pay other people to bed her. Sighing she nodded quietly before putting the tissue back into Brayden's pocket. She would save him from having to leave her.
"I should go... You've got work in the morning and I'm drunk out of my head."

Where was she going to stay? Lilly had no idea. Probably in a meadow curled up by a stream. After being kicked out of Brett's castle Lilly didn't have a home anymore. She'd burnt all her things and decided to live as a wolf. It was part of the reason her dress was ripped in several places. She slowly stood up making sure to keep her balance before leaning forward to kiss Brayden's cheek back. Her hand ran down his arm before entwining her fingers with his. She squeezed his hand gently before turning to head for the door. As she got halfway she heard a song that used to be one of her favourites. Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body." Now Lilly couldn't bare any songs about love, or intimacy, or anything like that. It just hurt her even more. Turning her head she slipped out of the night club. She didn't want to leave Brayden but he was right. She had to... well, she had to try and get over Brett before she even thought about Brayden.

She hated leaving Brayden. He was her best friend but this was for his benefit. She didn't want to hurt him in any way. Burying her face into her hands she began to weep. With her back against the wall she slid down it pulling her knees up to her chest as she sobbed. Why was her life turning to crap?! This wasn't fair. None of this was fair. She just wanted to find a hole and die in it. She would do what was best for Brayden. Glancing out of the corner of her eye she noticed a half full bottle of vodka. Not caring who had bought it or left it there she grabbed the bottle and began to down it.

a bleeding heart, part 7

"What? Oh, Brayden! Your insufferable!"

Lilly replied, in a playful manner of course, as she pushed him playfully on the chest. It was typical of him to notice that part of what she said and not the important part. Actually it was typical of Brayden to be playful and always find some silly way to cheer her up. His little comment had even made her laugh a little. He could be such a clown sometimes. It was probably what she liked most about him apart from his jaw dropping good looks. He always managed to make her laugh no matter what her mood was. Lilly was actually smiling for the first time since she found out about Brett's sordid... disgusting... heartbreaking... She sighed at that point. She hadn't smiled since she found out about Brett with another girl. He didn't even have the decency to break up with her. She had to leave him. Technically, if she had done nothing, Brett would have been dating two women at the same time. He probably wouldn't have done anything anyway.

"I know Brayden. I don't want you to be a replacement either. I wish you had told me this when I was over Christian, and before I got with Brett. Then I wouldn't have to feel this heartbroken right now, and I'd be with you. I'd probably be happy. Next time I think the father of an ex could be the one hit me. I never want to feel this ever again."

Lilly spoke, her gaze leaving his face to glance at the floor. All she wanted was to be with Brayden, and fall asleep in his arms. However as they had both said she didn't want Brayden to end up being a replacement, or the possibility of one, or a rebound. Lilly was pretty sure she wouldn't use Brayden like that but it was best if there was no opportunity too. Maybe they should be friends for another week or two. She could use the time to get over Brett. She could also use it to flirt and kiss other guys - just to get that part of the moving on process out of her system. That way after a week or two if Brayden and her got together after that point she'd know for sure that there was genuine feelings between them and she wouldn't have any chance of hurting him. That was the very last thing she wanted to do. Would Brayden wait though? She hoped so. So badly.

"Maybe we should wait a week or two for me to get over Brett. Once that time is up we'll know for sure I'm over him and you won't get hurt. That is... if you want to wait for me, and trust me, I completely understand if you don't."

She wasn't anything special after all. Brayden, as she said, could have any woman he wanted. Even the unobtainable. Why he would wait for her god only knows. Lilly squeezed his hands softly. Although she had stopped crying for a moment her face was still stained - and soaking wet - with tears. Sliding a hand into his trousers pocket she pulled out a tissue, which he always seemed to have on him, and began drying her face as best as possible. She looked a complete state, and right now she wished she wasn't. If she could make him think she had been wearing something draw dropping for this entire evening then she would have done it. He had seen her now and she would have to live with this as being his first visual impression of her. Lifting her head she gazed up into his eyes a wierd question fluttering into her pretty blonde head.

"Do... do you think I could just have one kiss for the road though?"

a bleeding heart, part 6

Oh god. Brayden was so charming. How was she supposed to resist him? Her good heart told her she had to fully mourn the end of her relationship with Brett. That way when she was completely over it she could be with Brayden and she wouldn't be using him or hurting him in any single way. Plus if they did end up dating or something their relationship could start in a proper way. However how was she supposed to resist him? He was staring at her, she could feel it, like she was the only girl in the room - maybe even the world. He was laying on the charm, saying he did love her truly and completely. He had even mentioned how he wanted them to be together for forever. Forever. Brett had promsied that. Brayden was her best friend! Sure, she had one mega crush on Brayden since she first laid eyes on him but could it even work?

What if it didn't work out and she ended up losing her best friend? What if she didn't take the chance now to be with him and he never ever gave her another one? She could lose the chance to be with the one that could quite possibly be 'the one' for her. Maybe she should string this out. Maybe she should ask him why he loved her. It could give her some time to think about this more. Biting her lip she stopped dancing and lightly tugged on his hand.

"I think I need to sit down."

She spoke softly before leading him back to the bar. Once at the bar she sat down, tucking some blonde hair behind her ear before letting her hands settle on her lap. He... loved her. Brayden loved her. Brayden could be a supermodel, or the hottest male alive voted by the entire female population. Hell, he was level with Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki on the hotness scale which was 'Beyond Godly'. How... why... How could Brayden fall for her? She wasn't anything special. She really wasn't. Biting her lip she let her hands reach out for his. Sliding her hands into his she gently brushed her thumbs against the back of his hands.

"Your the hottest thing I have ever seen. Your so out of my league its not even funny. I've... I've had this huge crush on you since I met you. I never... I never thought you'd ever want me in that way. You can have supermodels if you wanted... I... I don't want to hurt you Brayden. I want to be with you so badly but I don't think I've finished getting over Brett yet and the last thing I want is any relationship with you to start and be based on a possible rebound. I'd never ever want to do that to you. When you take me on our first date I want to know with every inch of my heart that its starting right. That there is no one else in my heart but you."

Lilly confessed. She was definately drunk. Lilly would have never ever said any of that otherwise. She finally lifted her head to look up into his eyes. Her own baby blue eyes started to water as she bit her lip once more. Brett and Christian always hated and yelled at her for biting her lip.

"I... I don't want to be without you though... I've wanted you for so long..."

a bleeding heart, part 5

Oh god. He had heard her? Wait. He had been talking about himself? Did... did he love her? That was probably a very stupid question but she had no idea. Lilly decided she was far too drunk to be able to figure this all out so she pushed it aside. After all she was already making her way to the dancefloor. Lilly however paused mid-stride as soon as Brayden mentioned that he could see. He... could see her? Oh crap! She looked a state. She had always told herself if he ended up seeing she'd get this amazing red dress that would make her look unbelieveable for the first time he saw her. Lilly couldn't look at him now. Biting her lip she let him take her out to the dancefloor and dance with her. She rested her hands on his shoulders but her gaze just couldn't find its way past his neck. She couldn't look at him now. Sure, he'd just called her beautiful, which had made her blush so much, but what if he was just saying that?
Lilly was slow dancing with her crush and she couldn't even look at him. She of course was happy for him that he could see but if she had known... She really hadn't wanted him to see in this state and have it as his first memory of seeing her. She didn't even have a decent dress on her, her hair was an untamed state, and her face was covered in the remains of her tears. She couldn't even remember if she had make-up on and if she did her masacra was probably running. How could he think she was beautiful? He must be blind. Well... he wasn't anymore. Damn it. She had thought he looked her up and down! Next time she was so going with her instinct. Her instinct had been right about Brett and was right about Brayden too. She swallowed deeply, her nerves beginning to get the better of her as she continued to dance with Brayden. Every girl wanted to be her right now, and it felt so wierd.

"I... didn't realise your surgery was so soon. I... I look a state. I always told myself if you ever saw me I'd make sure I looked amazing for you so you'd have a good first impression. Guess I blew that."

She confessed, her gaze on their shoes. Her heart was racing like she had just done a marathon and yet she hadn't done anything. At least not a marathon in any case. Right now all she could think about was kissing Brayden. She knew it wasn't right even though Brett was probably having sex with this mistress of his. Lilly was a good girl though. Just thinking about kissing someone a day after she found out the ex-love of her life was already setting up a new family with someone else whilst he was doing the same with her. Maybe she should just sleep around though. It was clear being a good girl wasn't doing anything good for her. It was just getting her hurt so badly. Biting her lip she pressed her face into the crook of his neck as she held him close. Lilly had always tried her best to be a good girl and see the silver lining in every storm cloud. However she was finding it so hard to see what life lesson or what good thing she was supposed to realise after Brett broke her heart. Maybe it was something to do with Brayden?

"Do... do you really love me? I mean... erm... in a romantic way?"

a bleeding heart, part 4

"not the way I love you.” What did that mean? Well, Lilly knew what she wanted it to mean but he couldn't mean it like that. He was so far out of her league she couldn't see his feet. On the other hand though she couldn't help but wish he did mean it that way. She had often dreamed of him brushing her hair behind her ear tenatively and of him holding her close against his shirtless body whilst they laid in bed together. What could she say? A six pack chest was her biggest weakness in a man - that and breathtaking eyes - and Brayden had an incredible six pack. She often found herself staring at his chest when they went swimming which was okay since he could never see her doing so. She often blushed when she ended up looking at Brayden that way. He never saw which meant she never got embarassed by looking or had to explain herself which would end up with her getting all flustered.

With her face against his chest she could feel his well fined pecks. Any excuse to get his t-shirt wet she'd often take. Mostly in playful hose or bucket water fights when they were doing the garden or cleaning a friend's car. It always looked innocent but in some subconcious way Lilly couldn't resist. She did treasure the moments when she could be this physically close to him. If they ended up as best friends forever then Lilly would accept that. After all, he was a god, and probably had a few supermodels waiting for his call. At least he was here tonight. Lilly had been so worried he might not come. She had thought he'd probably have a date or something. Yet, here he was. She loved it that he had turned up. She didn't feel as alone when she was with Brayden. She was half way across the world from her family. It would have been so lonely here if she didn't have Brayden. Especially right now.

"Like you..."

Lilly whispered, not even stopping to think before she spoke as she responded to his small speech. Realising what she had said she blushed and looked away, hoping to god he hadn't heard her. She let herself cough, clearing her throat, before letting her hands leave his body as she stepped backwards. This was probably the time where she should get even more drunk. Yes. She needed to get a hell of a lot more drunk then she was now - and trust me she was most definately drunk. She was saying more then she ever would if she had been sober. Turning around she grasped her glass firmly and downed it before placing it back on the bar. Again, on impulse and without thinking about it, she turned and slid her hand into Brayden's. With a smile she tugged on his hand before leading him out to the dancefloor. Toni Braxton's song "Unbreak My Heart" was playing and right then that was Lilly's theme tune. She had to dance to it.

a bleeding heart, part 3

Lilly noticed something odd. Had Brayden just looked her up and down? Maybe he had just nodded his head but she could have sworn his eyes moved so he could look her up and down. He was blind though, and even if he could see why would he look her up and down? It was something a male did - well even a female did too - when he was attracted to someone. He couldn't be attracted to her. He was a god whilst she was just... well, her. Why would he even consider settling for her anyway? He could have supermodels hanging off both his arms. Holding him close she buried her face into his chest again not even thinking about getting his t-shirt wet from her tears. Maybe she had just seen things when she had thought he looked her up and down. Yeah, she was probably feeling so vunerable, so lonely, and so unwanted that she was imagining her crush was looking at her in ways she could only dream of - and had dreamt of.

Brayden did tell her he loved her all the time. Lilly had always thought he meant it as a friend, and had always took it that way. After all why would an adonis like Brayden love her as more then a friend? It was stupid, and she shouldn't even be thinking about it right now anyway. She had just had her heart torn out of her chest, sliced by a dagger in Brett's hand, and then put through the shredder all infront of her very own eyes. That was how it felt, and she couldn't just try to turn her own pain into feelings for someone else. That wouldn't be healthy, Brayden didn't want her like that, and even if he did it wouldn't be fair to him if she did anyway. She had to mourn the loss of the love of her life. Her first love. The only man that had ever wanted anything to do with her. Brett had been perfect. Except... except when it came to leaving her. He had promised forever. How could he promise forever and not keep it?

She could still remember her first kiss with Brett. It had been magical, and her first kiss in her entire life. The kiss had been absolutely everything she could have ever dreamed of. It was like the perfect romantic movie kiss. Passionate, rough, wild, magical, gentle, loving, and a kiss that said it was the end of the world as she knew it. In that one kiss Brett had told her everything he felt for her, he had made her feel what she thought was true love, and promised their hearts would be forever entwined. Now here she was, Brett broken all his promises and he didn't even look sorry at all for what he had done, sobbing into Brayden's chest. He hadn't even thought about Lilly, what it would do to her, or even considered her in any way when he went on that date with that harpy, whoever she was. Probably a nice girl too like both Lilly and Sherona. He'd probably cheat on this harpy too like he had done with his ex-wife Sherona and Lilly. Hell, technically he had cheated on his first ex-wife Heather with Sherona. Right now, if Lilly had said yes to Brett's proposal, she would be his third wife. He was a serial womanizer, a serial wedding man, and a serial cheater. He'd never change. He'd never settle for just one woman. Ever. His son Christian was just the same too.

"I love you too Brayden"

Lilly replied softly, pressing her face into the crook of his neck as she ran her fingertips down the back of his neck. If she could just stay pressed against him for a while and take in his scent that would be good. It made her feel at home. Then again for a while now she felt with Brayden she was home. Then again she'd felt the same with Brett and look where it had gotten her. She had a broken heart, and couldn't believe that whilst she and Brett were together he had shacked up with someone else. How could his feelings for her just disappear like that? She didn't understand. What was so god damn wrong with her? Lifting her head, teary eyed, she looked up at Brayden finding herself unable to not ask him that exact question.

"Whats so wrong with me? Whats so wrong with me that men don't want me?"

a bleeding heart, part 2

As her chest pressed against his and her arms went around his neck she felt something. Lilly had no idea what it was, so she pushed it aside considering her broken heart was far more... well, she actually couldn't finish that thought. Both feelings were important, but the broken heart one seemed to win out. For now. Lilly felt so depressed, so hurt, so broken hearted that all she wanted to do was roll over and die. However that was hard to do when probably the sexiest man alive - right now apart from Brett - had his arms around her. It wasn't fair. Why did he have to be so attractive? Ah well, at least she could wear anything she wanted around him. At least he couldn't see the wreck she was in. That was one good thing and part of the reason she had called Brayden. The other part had been the fact he was her best friend. She wouldn't trust anyone else to be there for her right now.
Sobbing she sniffed as he lifted her head up. At first reluctant to look at him but eventually she did as he wiped the tears away. It was wierd. It almost looked like he was actually looking at her. That wasn't possible though. He was blind. He couldn't see her. That was a relief right now though. She was just in a very old brown dress that was ripped in almost every single place possible. Her plain white bra and knickers were even visable in some gaps. In her pain Lilly had burnt everything she owned, quit her job, and ripped the oldest dress she had before having to put it on since she couldn't go to a nightclub in just her underwear. How she had gotten in she didn't know. Well, actually she did. She had snuck in, and for some reason no one had come to take her out. Unknown to her they smelt the werewolf on her and so knew not to mess with her.It was rather unfair Brayden was so sexy. It made their friendship rather hard for her. Lilly had often found herself just staring at him which was good since he couldn't see her. If he had of seen her doing so then she would have been so embarassed. That and flustered because she'd have to come up with some lie. On one hand being so upset she got to be so close to him. On the other though it was still torture for her. How was she supposed to concentrate on being so upset when he was still insisting on being so sexy? She couldn't think about both things at once.

"He made me do such bad things. I did such bad things just to be with him. I killed someone. His wife. Not on purpose but I accidentally pushed her into the barbeque. I'm an adulterer too. I'm not that kind of person Brayden! I thought we were forever. He said he loved me! I almost lost my virginity to him and now he's just kicked me out for someone else. Why aren't I ever enough for any man?! My dad left me before I was born and now Brett has! The only man I ever loved. I'm never going to find someone who wants me. Never."

a bleeding heart.

Lilly couldn't believe what had happened. Everything seemed so... perfect. He loved her. She loved him. His daughter loved her and loved them together. Everything was... perfect. Then out of the blue he just kicks her out, chucks out her things, and says he's with someone else. She couldn't believe this was happening. She had feared Brett was a serial womanizer and would never commit, not truly, yet he had told her himself she had been wrong. She had believed him. Now here she was, her belongings burnt in a bonfire on the beach, with Lilly sat in a pub drinking her body weight in alcohol. She had done things she would never ever do to be with Brett. She was even the cause of Sherona, his ex-wife's - and SECOND wife's - death. She didn't mean to do it but she had accidentally pushed her into the barbeque. Lilly wouldn't hurt a fly. She'd never have an affair. She'd never ever hurt anyone even accidentally yet here she was. A murderer and an adulterer. All because of him.
She should die. She deserved to die. The only man she had ever loved and he'd left her. Just like her father had abandoned her, her twin brother, and her mother before either of the twins had been born. Why was Lilly even surprised? She was clearly nothing but a pile of cow turd. Nothing more, and probably a lot less then that. She was clearly not enough for any man or woman. She wasn't worthy of her own father's love let alone Brett's or anyone else's. Her face was littered with tears, her heart breaking inside as she downed her fourth white wine spritzer. Yes, that was as strong an alcoholic drink as Lilly could take. She was THAT good and pure of heart. If Sherona hadn't of died Brett probably would have never left Sherona anyway. He would have strung her along probably. Burying her face into the bar she sobbed although her sobs couldn't be heard over the pounding music from the dj. She was sat in the best nightclub in La Push.
Desperate for just someone to be there she grabbed her mobile phone and called Brayden, a friend. He was blind, sweet, sexy as hell, and well she'd never be enough for him. Lilly had known that before Brett broke her heart and soul but it was even more firm now. When he didn't answer she left a slurred voicemail saying she where she was and that he should come down amongst the sobs. Hanging up she wondered if she could die from tons of alcohol in her system. Right then Lilly actually hoped so. She didn't want to be in this world right now. She didn't want to be here, to be feeling this, and to be as broken as she was right now. She'd almost given up her virginity to Brett! Right now if she hadn't of left his castle when he tried to undress her she wouldn't still be a virgin, and she'd be even more worse off. This was hell. It had to be. She was dead and she was in hell.
Feeling a hand on her shoulder Lilly turned her head, crying, to see Brayden there. He was here! Without hesitation she stood up, flung her arms around his neck and buried her head into his chest as she sobbed her heart out. She didn't even notice the difference in his eyes. She was just so upset. Brayden was a god, and he deserved a goddess hence why she had never tried to flirt with Brayden or told him of her crush on him. It wasn't as if he'd ever feel anything like that for her anyway.

"He... he left me... for another woman..."

She sobbed, lifting her head to bury her face into the crook of his neck. Even though she was very depressed and broken hearted she still noticed how amazing he smelled.

searching for a place to call home, part 3

Glancing over at Chase Lilly couldn't help but notice he was going through the first signs of changing. He must not be able to control it like other werewolves. By now Lilly had learnt how to phase when she wanted, and therefore could control her werewolf side to a point. Apart from phasing though Lilly had no control on the wolf in her. The lusts... the huge apetitite... She found it all hard to handle but did her best to appear normal. Most werewolves could smell their own kind so it surprised her that Chase seemed so... new to it all. She hadn't met such a new werewolf before. Sure, Lilly had gone through the same thing, but she had been determined to not let it rule her life. So she ate lots of meat, got herself to control the phasing, and made sure to be in her wolf form at least once a week to run and let the wolf in her feel satisfactory. That way it didn't rebel against her as much and it made things so much easier.She reached over and took hold of Chase's hand squeezing it softly as she looked him in the eyes. After all she wanted him to know it was okay. He didn't seem to have met many - if any - werewolves previously nor did he seem able to recognise one when he was sat beside one.

"Its okay. I'm a werewolf too. Just relax. If you don't want the change to happen just tell it not too. That, and eat meat. That usually helps. It sates the animal lusts. At least for me anyway. The more you keep the animal in you happy the less it fights."

She spoke softly, making it clear she was his equal and just giving advice. Squeezing his hand she smiled at him before getting up. They had some huge homemade burgers in the fridge which Lilly could cook for them. Tugging his hand gently she then walked inside leading him to the kitchen. Grabbing the eight burgers she put them onto the grill and began cooking them. Whilst they cooked on the grill Lilly grabbed them both a glass. There was green, red, and yellow peppers in the huge homemade burgers which was just the way Lilly liked them. So tasty, and held together by worchester sauce which no one could really taste anyway. Lilly loved making homemade burgers. They were always a decent size, so delicious, and weren't fattening unlike burgers you got from the stores.

"Burgers alright for you? They'll definately sate any animal hunger. Should help you not to phase unwillingly too. At least meat does. Ever since I was turned I've had this huge animal appetite. I can even eat raw meat given a chance, and about my own body weight too. I feel its best to control the animal in myself rather then let it control me. Its all about preperation in my mind really. Do you want a glass of coke?"

She asked gently, taking the burgers out now thoroughly cooked, and puts four on one plate and the other four on another plate. She put one plate infront of Chase on the table, and then put her plate infront of her. Pouring two glasses of coke she put one infront of Chase and one infront of herself before grabbing a loaf of bread, tomato sauce, cheese, and a knife just incase Chase wanted to add any of it to his burgers. Grabbing cutlery she put them down before putting some sliced cheese onto her burgers, putting ketchup onto two slices of bread, and then putting the burgers inside. Taking a bite of one of her burgers she let out a pleasureable sound at the taste. God they tasted so good. She did love homemade burgers. Lifting her head she glanced over at Chase with a smile hoping her tips were helping him. Maybe later she could help him start to learn how to phase of his own will.

"Taste good?"

searching for a place to call home, part 2

Even though Lilly knew it was stupid she did miss Brett. She just wanted him to hold her again and to whisper in her ear how amazing he thought she was. It had been so long since he had done so. What if she never felt that again? What if she never felt those huge muscular arms of his around her curved body or those irresistable lips of his brushing against her ear? What if she never once got to hear him say her name the only way he could? This was torture. So much torture. She wasn't sure if she could bear it. Now she didn't even have his baby inside her to comfort her. God, she regretted getting that abortion. What could she do now though? Brett had made his choice and it wasn't her. She would just have to move on no matter how much it broke her heart to think of doing it. It would be so painful but she had survived before him and she would make god damn sure she did after him. That was all there was to it.Sighing deeply and sadly she lowered her head to bury her face into her hands. Sat on the porch, her knees level with her breasts, and her elbows perched on her knees she just sat there in silence. Well, when I say silence, Lilly was sobbing quietly. It was quiet though and unless someone was right next to her no one would hear it. At least her mother had Leo though, and at least Gabriel was here. Maybe with her brother's help she could get through this nightmare. She just hated how the memories haunted her. She could still remember vividly how he parted her legs the night of Claudia's wedding ( Lilly had a feeling it was to Brett but couldn't be sure ) and made love to her for the first time. It had been so magical to her. He had torn off her bridesmaids dress and just made her feel like the most important woman in the world to him. She could still remember every emotion and every touch she had felt that night...Hearing a voice Lilly parted her fingers a bit to peek through them. No, it wasn't Brett, or Brett's son Christian, or anyone she knew actually. Letting her hands drop she wiped the tears with the back of her hand before looking the guy over. She had to admit he was very attractive, but right now getting involved with someone else just didn't appeal to her. One, it wouldn't be healthy, and two, she still wasn't over Brett. She did get why this guy liked the night but right then Lilly couldn't say that was what she liked about it or if she even liked the night. Did she like the night? Was it something she liked? Oh, yes. She liked the night. The moonlit strolls on the beach... which she had never gotten to share with Brett at any point. Lilly sighed again turning her head away to look at some white tulips growing on the front lawn. Anything to stop herself from crying again.

"Loved ones in bed with someone else. Not with you."

Lilly mumbled. A part of her knew she shouldn't say something like that, after all she was referring to herself when she said 'not with you', but right then it just kind of slipped out. Biting her lip she picked up a daisy and like she did as a kid began picking off the white petals one by one. It wasn't a 'he loves me' or 'doesn't love me' game. It was simply a tear the petals off the daisy type game. Sometimes she tried to count the number of petals to see if they were odd or even numbered but in today she did no such thing. When all the petals were gone she tossed what was left of the daisy away. Maybe it would just be best if she found a werewolf pack, joined it, and ran away with them. Then she could stay in her wolf form forever and maybe in time she would get over Brett. It sounded like a very tempting escape to her. Yet, she just didn't have the guts to do it.

"So... are you new here? I haven't seen you around before."

Searching for a place to call home

She looked like a sixteen year old kid. She wasn't even out of high school by the sounds of it. What the hell did Brett even see in her? He was a paedophile. At least that was what everyone thought and would think when they looked at that child. She was even pregnant. It was ridiculous. Ah well. She was building her own heartbreak. Soon enough Brett would get bored, he'd find another woman, and he'd cheat on that child. Ha. Probably with a fifteen year old. That made Lilly smile. At least Lilly had the sense to ignore Bretts pleading after she had used him a day or two ago. She'd slept with Brett and Paul. Ignored both of their pleads, and now... Well she felt better. She had gotten her revenge, they know knew what it felt like to be used and heartbroken, and hopefully they would both become better men.For some stupid reason Brett was very fertile. So fertile infact Lilly had been pregnant with his kid too. Of course he had kicked her out when she found out, and then after that she had gotten an abortion. Best thing she ever did. If Sherona was still alive she would be thoroughly disgusted by Brett and his actions. If Sherona was alive she would have called the police and that child's parents. The police would have probably put Brett in jail, and the parents would be equally disgusted if they were decent parents. If they were decent parents they would have knocked some sense into the child and gotten rid of the abomination in the child's womb. Still, not everyone were decent parents. That night when Brett had begged her to be his again Lilly had called her mother, Saffie, and she had reassured Lilly she was doing the right thing. Lilly had an amazing mother.It was about midnight, Lilly was in a pair of silver grey tracksuit bottoms and a white crop top, just staring at the dark street as cars drove by. She was sat on Brayden's porch wondering where her future now layed. Lilly had always been a free spirit but after everything she had been put through and suffered she was finding it harder and harder to be her old self. A part of her wanted to call the police and get those two "lovers" apart for good. She wanted Brett to go to jail so he could be knocked to his senses and for that child to be with someone her own age. On the other hand though she knew it shouldn't bother her if Brett wanted to be seen as a paedophile. If he wanted to go for younger and younger girls then that was his problem. Even if they ended up being five years old before he finally realised his own self destructive pattern. Still... Lilly had a good pure heart and nothing in her could convince her to leave the entire situation alone.
She had to stop future girls from getting hurt. She had to get that child away from Brett before she was destroyed for good - which would end up happening whether she wanted to believe it or not - and... Well, Lilly wanted to try and honour Sherona's memory because Brett sure as hell didn't. If he had ever loved his wife Sherona he would have never ever put himself in the situation he was in. He would have honoured his marriage, he would have stayed alone for a few months and gotten himself together. That was what a real husband that loved his wife did. If Brett had been the one to die Sherona would have mourned for years, and been alone for all those years. She would have never touched another male in her entire life except for their son. Lilly really felt so bad for Sherona. The only comfort was that Sherona had never known about their affair or the current situation. At least she had been spared that pain.

"Its so quiet tonight."

5 a.m. voices

Its 5 a.m. and im going insane. I hate this time of day thats when my thoughts get together and start ganging up on eachother, then never give the others a chance to speak but they cut them off inbetween sentences and its giving me the worst headache. Im starring at this screen trying really hard to focus on these keys and not the voices. The voices that constantly tell me when I should pick up the 'paintbrush' and what and where I should 'paint'. I cant take it right now how does one drown out there brain..?

Newly painted wall.

And shes thrown against the newly painted wall. Smothered in her own set of tears. She whipes the blood from her lip. Mothers had to much to drink. Mothers grip getting tighter each time she struggles. She knows not to move, Knows not to cry. This girl she spilled the milk again. Shes such a clutz " You got your ButterFingers from your dad stupid bitch" Mother says. She thinks to herSelf " What happened to daddys ButteFingers before he pulled the trigger of the gun pressed to his head". Her thoughts slowly linger as her head is once against bounced of the newly painted wall. Her visions are fixated on moms face, Looking deep into her doped up eyes, Without words pleading with her to lose interest. Mother releases her hands from her head. As the handfull of hair in mothers hands fall to the floor. Mother walks away in complete disgrace of this child. She slowly wanders off, peeling herself from the wall of which she was paralyzed to this girl she wonders, what tommorrow will bring when mother sobers up and relizes theres a body print in her newly painted wall

Love gone.

I was sitting alone in my room, sitting on my bed and playing on my laptop. My cell phone rings. Its a text and I read it. Its from Brett and it says "I want to break up, I dont love you anymore." I read it over and over again with tears coming down my cheeks. I sit on my bed with my face in my hands, sobbing my eyes out. It hurts so much and I want to die. Its getting late. I lay down in my bed, staring at my phone and reading the text over and over and crying myself to sleep. I wake up from a deep sleep the next morning. I lay in bed, staring around my room. I took out my phone again and saw that I had one new text message. I open it and read it. "Hey whats up? I'm sorry about that text message last night. But I think its better off if we stay friends." I stared at the message for a while. And then I reply, "Ok." and then I start to cry again. I get out of bed and get dressed and then make some coffee to make myself feel better. Nothing is making me feel better, the only thing I want right now is to be with him again. I still love him and I always will love him. I cant stop loving him and I will never move on because hes the only boy that I can be myself around and he always makes me happy. I start to think about the times Brett and I had together. When he came over to my house and we would cuddle on my bed and watch our favorite movie Forest Gump. And the time, we would say, "I love you" over and over and picking out love songs for eachother. Thinking about all those amazing times with Brett made me cry again. I walked back to my room and got my cell phone and my keys. I walked out of the house and into my car and started taking a drive around the town thinking that will make me feel better. I was calm until I saw a guy that looked like Brett riding his bike. It was Brett. I roll down my window and yell out, "Hey Brett." he looks and he sees me and he rides his bike to my car. I slide into my seat, telling myself to be calm and mature about this break up. "Hey," he said. I saw him standing by my car and I could feel his eyes staring at me and then I stared back at him. He smiled my favorite smile and asked "Where are you going?" "Just driving around," I replied. "Well, I better get to work" he said getting back on his bike and smiling, still staring at me. I watch him ride away on his bike and I feel sad again. I sit there in my car, and cry as I watch him move far away from me If I had one wish.. I would wish to be together with Brett again.(To be coninued...)

Marry me true love.

It was a beautiful summer night and I decided to go out for a little walk around the neighborhood. I looked up and I see a beautiful boy staring at me from the end of my driveway. He waves at me and he walks closer to me. Brett and I have been dating for 4 years, and today is our 5 year anniversey. "Hey, beauiful night isn't it?" he said with my favorite smile on his face. "Yeah," I replied. "But not as beautiful as you," I whispered to myself. He smiled as he took my hand. My heart skipped a beat and I got a lot of butterflies in my stomach as he held onto my hand. "I'm in love with you, Lilith," he said looking in my eyes and moving the piece of hair that was infront of my face off to the side, holding his hand onto my cheek. I felt butterflies flying around in my stomach after he said that, "I love you too, Brett." He grabs my waist and moves me closer to his amazing body. I felt like I was going to fall over, but I didn't. I didn't want to make myself look like a total loser. "Today is our anniversey, and I have something for you," he told me. He lets go of my waist, as he goes to down one knee. He pulls out a little silver box out of his pocket. "Lilith, Will you marry me?" He asked me, staring at me and smiling my favorite smile. My heart skips seven beats as it felt. It felt like I just went to heaven after that one question. Finally, I replied, "Yes Brett, I will marry you," He put the ring on my finger as he came back up to both of his feet and his lips met mine.To be Continued...(I might re-do a little bit, idk.)

Days of darkness 1

So I was walking one night on the street alone, when I looked up in the window of an old antique book store I saw an old antique book called Days of Darkness. I thought a little about it. And then I stopped and kept on walking. Suddenly I saw a black figure standing by a tree looking straight at me. I stopped for a second, looked and it was gone in the blink of an eye. I continued to keep on walking and I saw a path to the tree that I saw the figure and I followed the path. As I followed the path, a shadowy figure stands infront of me and stares at me. I stop walking and just stand there, trying to figure out who the beautiful figure is. Then he waved and he was gone within a few seconds. I stand there for a moment and try to figure out what has just happened. I looked at my watch and saw that it was getting late, so I started heading back to my house because it was a school night and I needed to get some rest. I open the door to my house, walk in and headed up to my bedroom and put on my PJs. And then I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, as I looked up into the mirror I saw the dark shadowy figure in my own reflection. I quickly looked behind me and saw that it wasnt there. I walked out of the bathroom, walked back to my bedroom and climbed into my bed and fell asleep. When I went to bed, I had dreamt about the dark shadowy figure and what he looked like. He was tall, short cropped black hair, muscular, and he had a hot body. I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock and it was time to get ready for school. I got dressed, ate breakfast, and headed out to my car and drove to school. When I got to school, I saw the person standing by the doors to the school that I have seen last night in the woods. I walked up to him and asked him "Hey didn't I see you last night?" and he just walked away from me and didn't hear my question. Or so I thought. When the bell rang to go to first class, I walked to my english class and saw him sitting next to my original seat and he was staring at me as I entered the room. I sat down and he looked away. The teacher said were going to take notes and then he asked me if he could borrow a pencil. His voice was deep but then charming. So I asked him, "Why do you need a pencil?" and he responded, "Notes.." So I looked at him suspiciously and said, "First, tell me what your name is." And he quickly responds, "I'll tell you later." The bell rings and it was time to go to lunch. When I got to the lunch room I sat down at a table in the middle of the lunch room with my friends and I saw him in the corner of the lunch room sitting alone and no food. I walk to his lunch table and offer him some pretzels. He says "No thanks, I'm not hungry." Then we just stare at eachother for a long deep stare. After a long stare he says, "What are you looking at?" It took me a while to respond, and then he said, "Hello?" I snapped out of it and said, "Hi." Then he says again, "So what were you staring at?" and I said, "Your eyes.... Their so beautiful." I go to turn away, and he grabs my arm gently and he says, "Come here." He takes me to the corner of the lunch room and wraps his arm around my waist gently, I go limpe and he kisses me. He took his arm back from around my waist and I say under my breath, "That felt good." He smiles and says, "Good." I walk away and he follows me to my next class. Last class ended pretty fast and as I walked to my car, I saw him leaning against my car. When I got to my car, he asks "Hey can you give me a ride home?" and I responded, "Sure." Then we both got into the car. "Can you please tell me your name?" I asked him. He doesn't answer and just says to drop him off at the place I saw him where I first met him. When he gets out of the car, "I think I'm going to go buy that book at the antique store." I told myself. And then I drove to the antique store and I saw the book still there in the window. I went in and paid for the book and came back out and drove to my house. When I got to my house, I got a quick snack and walked to my bedroom with the book I just bought and started to read it. I stared at the first page of the book and saw the person I met that one night, and who I talked to at school. I read the first page of the book and after reading the first page,I find out that that boy I talked to at school was named Brett and hes a vampire. I put the book down, walked out of the house and I decided to go for a walk in the woods. While I was walking in the woods, I came to a fork in the trail I was walking on. One way went straight to a swamp and the other way went straight to a beautiful mansion. Instead of talking the path to the swamp, i decided to take the path to the mansion. I was walking along the trail to the mansion, as I was walking, I saw Brett coming out of the mansion's front door. He had a backpack on one shoulder and a jacket on the other. He looked up and saw me. He screamed at me, "What the heck are you doing here!?" "I was just going for a walk, whats wrong with that?" I told him. "Well you shouldn't be here, its dangerous territory." He said. "Ok, well then I should just turn back." I said. "Wait, come here." He said as he showed his fangs. Then from behind me, there's a dark shadowy figure that grabs me from behind my neck. And I instantly fall unconscious. The last thing I hear is "Lilith!" from Brett.Next thing I know, I wake up handcuffed to a chair. There's a dark figure before me, he asks me "What do you want with us? Where did you get this book?" As he chucks the book down in front of me. "I don't know. I just bought the book in a book store." I said. "Sure, like you didn't have a spiritual connection to this book. I could see your oura connected to this book." the dark figure said. He showed me himself and I reconized him as Brian from our school. He smacks me in the face. "You know who I am, don't you?" He asked me. "Yes I do." I said. "Who am I?" he asked me. "You're Brian." I said. He grabs me from the back of my neck and I fall unconscious again. Next I hear the roar of a car engine. Then I feel like I'm compressed and then I realized that I'm in the trunk of a car. The car stops and then I see Brian open the trunk. "Oh your awake, aren't you?" he demanded. Then I see Brett standing behind Brian. He takes him in a choke hold and throws him to the ground. He takes a mythical dagger from his belt and stabs Brian in the neck with it. And Brian dies instantly and burns from the inside out. Brett standing there with his tworn shirt from the fight holding the bloody dagger from his hand and looks back at me and says, "I'm back." I look at him shocked at what he just did. "I'm sorry if that what was too violent for you." he said. "No it wasn't." I told him. He held out his hand and I took it. "Would you like to know what it feels like to be me?" he asked me. "Yes I would." I replied. He put his arm around my waist and tilted my head back and then I fell limp. Then I felt the piercing of his fangs (It wasn't painful though, it was soothing.)I woke up on Brett's bed, still in my clothes surprisingly. I wake up blood thirsty and I see right next to me viles of blood. I pick one up and I smell it and it smells good. I put it up to my mouth and drink it. Brett walks in and he sees that I have blood all over my lips and he shows his fangs. He pulls me close and claspses onto my shoulder with his fangs and I latch onto his shoulder with my fangs. It happens so fast. I am speechless of what happened. He was too pleasureable. It was too heat making. It was too amazing to say anything more. But right now, I know what happened.

Continued...
(I really dont know if I am going to finish this one. Its good the way it is right now.)